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You are here : home > Raising Children > The Girl Child > Join the Debate: Sons or Daughters? > Comments

Comments:

Name: Santosh
Country: United States
 For this generation, it does not matter, whether it is boy or girl. But it is disheartening to see that for parents of this generation, it still matters that boy is much higher than girl. When it comes to inheritance, if parents make a Will, major share goes to son, and if will is not made, daughters are forced to relinquish their shares in favor of brothers. If girls propose that sons and daughters are equal, daughters are labelled that they are greedy. What do you say?
Name: Nishita
Country: India
 Nice Article
Name: NeverBurnDecompose
Country: India
 Now that AISHWARYA RAI has a Daughter, will she WELCOME a second daughter ?
Name: SK
Country: India
 To Shilpi - I agree with your comments but would like to add that even daughters have the right and in fact it is their DUTY to look after their parents in their old age. That duty does not rest with the son alone, a daughter is equally responsible and is as duty driven as a boy is!
Name: shilpi.jhawar
Country: India
 i wud like to add to my earlier msg.. i do get fearful when i think of girls getting married away and compromising adjusting sometimes suffering much more .. its probably the reason why in india.. males are preferred. scenario has changed .. one can rise against.. yet a girl normally compromises more. I feel sad when i think that way.. but again - every person - has his/her destiny. we can give them gud educn and when they have grown up , help them if reqd. But finally each one has his own destiny we cant change it. Lets just give them the ability and wishes immaterial of sex.
Name: shilpi
Country: India
 A child is a child.. girl or boy .. how does it matter!They both need same care,love and affection. However, Once the child grows up.. girl normally gets married and lives with her husband. The issue becomes who takes care of the old parents... In case of boys, they too get married and .. mostly, then starts -the constant scuffle btwn inlaws and daughterinlaw.. that continues till the very end... In case, the boy lives in another house, scuffle may not exist but again - who takes care -becomes the Q? So ultimately .. if the parents can take care of their old age - then its really immaterial whether u have a girl or a boy. Socially , in India - boys are preferred - probably 1.)coz they marry and get dowry home 2.) coz they can stay with parents as per society 3.) coz they are supposed to give agni etc 4.) coz they give a sense of protection(late nights are not really a problem etc) 5.) THEY CARRY THE FAMILY NAME FORWARD Boys are probably a boon for the practical materialstic world.. WHEREAS Girls understand the smallest tear of a mother .. she is a blessing .. her voice sounds like the cuckoo .. she provides happiness to the soul... i have a daughter and she is the world to me. I am a very happy mother.. she showers the love - no one else can! A son or a daughter should not really matter much. pink or blue - all colours look beautiful! Its our mindset which needs to be clear.
Name: gk
Country: India
 i always prefer a girl over boy. because they are more caring, understanding by nature. a mother can share lot of things with a girl rather than with a boy
Name: shilpa
Country: United Kingdom
 i have 2 sons. i am a very proud parent. but i always wanted a girl. but it does not matter. i am very happy now.
Name: savitha
Country: Oman
 how does it matter? kids r kids n will always be loved by parents whether boy or girl:-/
Name: Mum
Country: U.S.A.
 i have only one sone , a boy and say that i am proud to be his mum . i would have treated him no differently if he was a girl .
Name: amma
Country: India
 i love my kids equaly.i just want them to grow up as good human being.i will never differentiate them.
Name: sweet mom
Country: U.S.A.
 i have a son and a daughter.till now i never differntiated them.because i had the same pain and happiness being pregnant and delivering them.my mom or my mil also never differntiated between their sons and daughters.
Name: Sneha
Country: U.A.E.
 i have a daughter aged 4. i am the most luckiest and the happiest mom!!! daughters share a special bond with their mother!!
Name: sweet mom
Country: U.S.A.
 to maria from india.what is wrong in savitha from oman's statement?please clarify.
Name: geana
Country: U.S.A.
 i have always wanted a daughter of my own , to dress her pretty and grow her hair in curls, and later to have a mom * daughter relationship, but i have two sons ages 15 & 5 and they are handsome and very smart and we have bonded like i never thought possible!!.it depends on how you raise them!!
Name: maira
Country: India
 to savitha from oman, please dont make such random statements, u are only displaying your lack of knowledge and understanding of what is going on in the world today.
Name: painful heart
Country: India
 i have only one daughter and i loved her a lot and shared a special bond with her but since threeyears i talk to her only once a month her inlaws and husband doesnt want her to have any relation ship with us,she has visited us only twice i was one among you but now i know yy this world wants son ..i wish i had one
Name: shobha
Country: U.S.A.
 to painful heart,india. is it a love marriage or something else issue. your daugher should stand up, she can take help of her husband. if he is not supporting then she should be firm. on phone she can definitely talk. if that is not the case then please visit her place and check if everything is ok. even if she is not allowed to talk but if she is happy then you will be realxed.
Name: ad
Country: India
 i am mother to my only little son,who has brought so much of happiness to both of us, child is a child whether its boy or girl. it all depends on how well they are raised.
Name: Maya
Country: India
 nice topic. even i am crazy about a baby girl . i love them so much . i have a son but my craving for a baby girl can not be expressed in words. maya
Name: painful heart
Country: India
 my daughter is a software engineer her husband is also . she can stand for her self but this will cost her her marriage and no parent would want to be the cause of daughters divorce ,her inlaws side has insecurity that may be she will be close to us as we have no other kids . one more thing ...here i see people who already have son to be craving for daughters but ask those who have 2 or more daughters and who are in our age it take a life long experience to reaslise this bitter truth
Name: Nick
Country: United Kingdom
 this debate demeans us all. one couple may, even spend millions to, get a boy. when he grows up, the parent will need a girl for him to marry. boys and girls are needed in exactly equal measure. those who show a preference do so out of ignorance of facts.
Name: pl
Country: India
 message is for a painful heart. the situation which you described may not be true in all cases. even if you have sons they may go behind their wife and can stop complete communication to parents. so having a boy will definitely solve this problem. there are many girls nowadays who looks after their parents even though they are married or may be staying in joint family. so please do not make your heart painful. leave the life to its fullest...
Name: Zohra
Country: South Africa
 in today's time i don't think it really matters whether you have a son or a daughter. the time to enjoy kids is while they are growing up in your house. once they leave home for further studies or get married they are independent individuals and live their own life. so we must enjoy our children every day of our lives and spend quality time with them...not worry about their gender.
Name: Navanit
Country: Canada
 a child is always a piece of his/her parent's heart. you feel the same happiness when these little miracles smile and you feel the same pain when they are hurt. i don't think one should prefer one over other. shame on those who say they wanted a boy over a girl just because they feel they are better placed in society if they have a boy.i guess this preference is because of the society and illiteracy primarily is to be blamed. because as they say daughters have to leave home when they get married and sons are supposed to look after their parents. but tell me how many sons today live with their parents. don't sons move out today to get better jobs. well my husband did. may be thats why when ever i asked him if he wants a girl or boy, he said, "it doestn't matter. they both will move out of the house one day and we will be left to take care of each other. so when they will leave us one day why crave for one more than other. i just want my kid to be healthy and smart." don't you feel the same way.
Name: adithi
Country: France
 i have a 2 and a half yr old son. i am pregnant and i cant tell u how much i have been wishing for a girl. of course like so many of u have said, it doesnt really matter... but i have found out the gender, and its a boy again... since the day i knew, i havent been able to stop crying. my son is really an angel, hes adorable, so i know that boys can be fun as well, but somehow the disappointment just doesnt leave me... has anyone been thru this before?
Name: ranju
Country: India
 yes i do agree that doters r the most lovable ones.i have 3 lovely grown up doter. they take good care of our family. no regrets.my eldest one is expecting a baby this month. i am praying to god for a lovely grand daughter.
Name: fori
Country: Switzerland
 i have a daughter and i was crazy about having a baby girl. we fight like freinds, she means so much to me and my husband. i just didnt want to go for a second child. but people say that its for ur first child. they will feel alone , so u should go for second child. and i m worried that if i have a son..definately we will love him and raise him equally. but will there be love between the brother and sister. as, sister-sister are always close to eachother. but hardly i have seen the same closeness and love when they get older and married. usually bro-sis fight with each other over silly things all the time. so i m just wondering, whether i should go for a second child and take a chance....?
Name: sm1111
Country: India
 i would like to have a girl as my first child after my marriage.
Name: somy
Country: India
 i have two girls.from my point of view boys and girls are equal importance. after marriage boys have to take care of his wife and children. so he will get lightly detached from thier parents. it never means that he forget his parents or not loving his parenets. it is happenings because of his situations. after marrige girls could not love their inlaws as they love their parents and inlaws also never love their daughter inlaws as they love their own daughters. so they love their own parents more. if we are taking these two points boys and girls are same importnace.
Name: Madam
Country: India
 to be women and crave for boy chid is very deamoning to being a women. as women we should understand that in today's context a boy or a girl does not make a difference. there are people who still beleive that a boy will look after them in old age and is responsible for the family tree. being a women, the very thought makes me feel uncomfortable and stupid. how can an educated , 20th century women be a part of all this stupid and meaning less thinks. as mothers we should be opne to a boy or a girl. as women i think it is our duty to educate the society that a girl is equal to boy in all ways. it is only by our actions and conviction that we can make a difference.
Name: mollusc
Country: India
 society man cuz look genetically boys and girls both contribute equally to passing on their family legacy. but some ppl are obsessed with carrying their family names like it matters and what not.
Name: R2I
Country: India
 doesn't matter to me either. but i think raising a girl in usa is much tougher than raising a boy. specially because of issues like teenage pregnancy. i am sure the parents of a boy wouldnt be so worried if he goes on a date. but the parents of a girl child will definitely be worried until she comes home safely.
Name: mom2girls
Country: U.S.A.
 it really doesn't matter if you have a son or daughter. what matters is how much you love them and how you raise them to be self-sufficient human beings. as for them taking care of elderly parents, both sons and daughters are known to take care of their parents along with their in-laws. just be blessed knowing that you have a healthy, intelligent, loving child. so many parents are not blessed with such a gift.
Name: sarika
Country: Kuwait
 i have read the article and all the comments on this page. really ican see how society thinks. i completely agree with sheeta's comment from singapore
Name: Anuradha
Country: India
 i have two daughter, age 9&3. me and my husbend are very happy.it doesnot matter.in this days girls are more inteligent, smart and affectionate.it depends on how you will raise the kids with affection,love.
Name: shreetia
Country: Singapore
 i am due in a copule of months time . . i want a surprise and boy or girl dosent make a diff. i believe that if i bring up my child with love and affection i will get it back inreturn also . all i want is a healthy and happy baby .
Name: shreetia
Country: Singapore
 i am due in a copule of months time . . i want a surprise and boy or girl dosent make a diff. i believe that if i bring up my child with love and affection i will get it back inreturn also . all i want is a healthy and happy baby .
Name: seema
Country: India
 sons have to complete their duties towards aged parents. even our society pressures them to do it. on contrary it doesnt happen with daughters. daughters they learn alot etc etc but when time comes they never support their parents. they too strongly point to son or brother to fulfil it. it's my experience.
Name: AK
Country: India
 eventhough i support of having dauaghter than son, i also would like to give another persecptive. one of the reasons is in old age money will not matter for parents.if they have to depend on daughter, her husband should also supportive. otherwise, old parents will have tremendous issue. this is one of the prime reasons why parents want sons. you can also argue that son's wife should also support. but this can be managed than the earlier one. at the end daughaters are more loyal even after marraige but sons change very easily by wife's influence
Name: monalisa
Country: U.S.A.
 am a mother of 2 girls.one is 6 and another is 6 months.it doesn't matter for us but sometimes relatives and other people try to give their openion about this.children are god's blessing and nobody has the right to differentiate between a boy and a girl.
Name: Mrs Kamath
Country: India
 i am a mother of 16 year old boy and he is the only child. i am so proud of being a mother to him, he has bought lot of happiness into our lives. he has made us proud where ever we go with his versatality and compassion towards his fellow beings. i have received compliments from his teachers for bringing up such a wonderful boy who is sensible and compassionate. we share a lot of good times together. now the question raises what about after his marriage? i am sure what ever happiness i have to draw i will still continue drawing since he is a good humanbeing and truth will remain that i have brought him up and he is my son. i strongly believe if you are good your daughter in law will also be good to you. now a days most of the parents are financially independent and they no more look forward to financial support from their children. having a son proved to be a great experience for me so far. i am looking forward to having a daughter...in my daughter in law.
Name: Debjani
Country: India
 i have a son and a daughter. both are equally to me. they are my pieces of heart.
Name: nilam
Country: Singapore
 it doesnt really matter, wethere you have a boy or girl. they are both loving in their own sweet ways. my son loves me so much, and i would definatley want a girl to complete the family. i read so many of them saying that daughters are more caring and loving, and that they support the family even after marriage. this is from your point, the same thing if you see as a mother in law, u will say that she is the reason why ur son has gone far from you..if a daughter can give warmth to the family, the same daughter can give the same warmth to her husbands family, we have to change our thinking for this issue, daughter or daughter in law. if we treat our daughter in law like our own daughter then there is no question that your son will ever leave you and go, like ur husbands have a responsibility towards u and ur children, same ur son has responsibilities...so mothers, first try to stop the difference between daughter and daughter in law, the girland boy preferance will fade away...so mothers enjoy your timewith your children..and give them all the good eithics they need to be better human beings...
Name: Bharat
Country: India
 we have two kids, ealder daughter and youngr son. one day my wife asked me that, you are more attached to your daughter and pay very less attension to son, how do you grade them? i said they both are equal to me and they are like moon and shukratara(north star)now you decide who is who? any way, anyhow both of them butifies the night with their glitter.
Name: RANJU
Country: India
 true that daughters are more caring then sons, but sons r also equally emotional, its only that they have duty towards their wifes, and family, we fell they r neglecting their parents.both sons and daughters have their own life, both r carig towards parents ,i beleve
Name: shilpa arora
Country: India
 i wanted a daughter because my husband and in laws wanted a male child. by gods grace i have a lovely little princess in my arms.thank you god for the most beautiful gift i've ever received.
Name: we
Country: India
 i have 2sons. it is not bcoz iam saying this. how far be the time going son seems to bepreffered by each person,even though they wouldnot take care of them as daughtes does..
Name: Indu
Country: India
 we should be very proud to have girls who carry on our generation
Name: Mrs.Prasad
Country: India
 when my daughter was 3 i had a stillborn baby boy whom i still miss a lot. but after another 2 years i had another baby, a girl and she has to a large extent filled up the loss of my son. i now have 2 daughters, 10 & 4 and they are the apple of my eyes. but it is sad to see that when i mention this to some people, they sympathise with me more because i have lost a boy and this saddens me more than the loss itself. what makes them think i would have grieved any lesser if it was a girl i had lost?
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